I Am Enough

saving grace
detail of painting, m/m

Striving, yearning, desiring, wanting….

So friggin’ exhausting.

I remember early into the diagnosis of MS all the attention I placed on looking for cures.

People who love me and care about my well being each had the answer for me.

Negotiating all the well-wishers remedies as well as my own took years as I tried the ones which drew me and followed many inviting promises.

After 15 years of sending my precious attention out there trying to alleviate my suffering

I have come home.

Home is:

Not comfortable

Then it is.

It is messy and curious and angry and gorgeous.

Home feels secure

Until I fall.

Exhaustion gives way to being bathed in Grace.

Loneliness lasts long enough to accentuate the communion which never fails to arrive.

Yesterday, I looked down at the shirt I wore reflecting my heartbeat.

So steady. Strong. Warrior strong.

I am home.

I am home.

A soft white dog trusts me.

She wags her white flag of a tail.

I am trustable.

I trust.

I am.


6 Responses to “I Am Enough”

  1. Carole Zoom on January 9th, 2016

    I often thank my tiny warrior heart that just keeps on ticking thru all the events and eventualities. Thank you little warrior

  2. Irene on January 9th, 2016

    The warrior in me salutes the warrior in you.

  3. Joe on January 9th, 2016

    You are tougher than anyone I have ever worked with, served with or fought. You are one tough chick. The good part is that you keep your humor and good attitude. You are a towering power of example to me. Always and forever.

  4. Paul on January 9th, 2016

    Courageous, spirited, and gracious despite the afflictions placed on you. Cathy, you are a role model and I am honored to be your friend.

  5. Alexandra Eldridge on January 9th, 2016

    This made me feel so peaceful. Thank you for your constant reminder of grace and gratitude. You speak for all of us. Thanks for being the ever inspirational voice and spirit. xxxA

  6. Barry on January 10th, 2016

    You express the core so beautifully, so intimately, so unguarded. It is tremendously supportive to know at least one other human on the planet truly understands the journey.

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