The Big Squeeze


My girlfriend is down there in Mexico at a clinic receiving stem cells to possibly re-calibrate her immune system.

She has an amazingly generous benefactor allowing her this opportunity.

My own reach toward healing has been to give my stubborn will all the room and support it has needed to exhaust itself over the 15 years dealing with my body changing.

At some point I became so (actually and metaphorically) weary of “the reach” for “other”

That I gingerly stepped into my dugout canoe and pushed off the beach;

Laid down and just let the river of Life take me.

This was not a collapse into anything…just the beginning of listening with a different ear.

The slight rocking of the boat eased old anxiety.

I became softly content over time with not knowing where I was going.

This sort of surrender could easily be seen as caving into weakness or despair

But as my little boat floated nearer and nearer the canyon lands

The river became deep as opposed to wide.

So alive is the water beneath me!

My destination has become uninteresting.

I feel the rapids and am afraid.

But then as the fury eases into deep calm

A small and weary migratory bird

Rests on my boat.

We just look at one another awhile

Appreciating the company;

The sun impossibly warm..

The river fathoms deep.

I love all the clothes in her closet.


10 Responses to “The Big Squeeze”

  1. Carole Zoom on March 13th, 2016

    What a beautiful journey!

  2. Barbara McDaniel on March 13th, 2016

    thank you cath.

  3. Jenny on March 13th, 2016

    Thank you , from me too

  4. gerry harty on March 13th, 2016

    And another thank you from his corner…xo

  5. Jann on March 13th, 2016

    I love your posts because I love you so much but t when I read you poems I inevitably think, I am so lucky to be reading these beautiful words, I always feel stimulated, excited, there is always one sentence that thrills me….that I gingerly stepped into my dugout canoe and let the river take me.
    I always picture your face at these moments, I know that face, your eyes always look over to your left just slightly, God knows what your saying to yourself, you look back at me, take a breath and then finally you say what you are thinking. I know how smart you are, such a gift, such a curse. I am sorry sometimes that you have such backbone that you exhaust yourself. And then I get to read a poem you have written and I think….what a wonderful gift.

  6. Alexis on March 13th, 2016

    wow. just wow. xx

  7. Catherine on March 13th, 2016

    Inspirational, moving, perfect choice of words – thank you Cathy.

  8. Rita Kindl Myers on March 14th, 2016

    Thank you for the poem. I love it!

  9. Alexandra Eldridge on March 14th, 2016

    Speechless in the face of your ability of spell out your journey. Beautiful!

  10. Jim on March 14th, 2016

    The words of an artist . . . focusing on her process. Whenever you use a canoe as a metaphor, you get an incredible response!

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