Cookie Cutter Connection

staycurious
6’x3′,painting
____________

.

One of the most valuable gifts disability or illness affords us is the luxury of time to really muse on perceptions, beliefs, habits and the general behavior-by-rote afflicting us all.

Few of us have the time or inclination to clear the slate and look with new eyes.

We seem to change only when we have to or the pipes get too blocked and Roto-Rooter (enter therapist or re-hab or solitary retreat or detox or, or, or…) is summoned.

My own waning energy reserves have forced me to look at relationships quite differently.

In my teens and later (fairly recently truth be told) if I met a man who interested me, prompting extra makeup or a new dress

You could be sure somewhere in the murky recesses of my mind the fantasy of what my wedding dress would be like was festering in there.

I’m a girl, ok?

Some of us are good at one-on-one intimate relationships and some not so great.

I have come to know and be more accepting of myself for a history of divorce, downright BAD man-picking and inept relationship wrangling.

Don’t get me wrong…I adore men and am not with one but goodness knows I’ve tried.

For too long I’ve wondered why I can’t seem to get it right; that thing everyone seems to be looking so hard for.

I love men…and dogs and women and my friends and trees.

Mostly I love God.

I really have been afraid to say that for fear of being too “God-ey.”

But that’s me. Spirit comes first and always has but I didn’t really know it.

I am a God Girl.

I love.

Other stuff too,

But essentially my own and anyone else’s personality holds scant interest when God is at my table.

What I am finding is that we ALL are “IT”

Meaning: If given half a chance I can find God in you.

And it will be VERY good.

THAT is the thing that has had me prematurely picking out wedding dresses.

Sometimes we find a soul we want or need to hang with for an hour or a day or a lifetime or more.

The people I share my life with have each contributed to my wedding dress..added pearls and antique lace and fitted my feet with satin shoes.

They stand by me and throw yellow rose petals for me to tenderly tread on, sing when I’m sad and paint pictures to decorate my rooms.

I am a God-girl.

No white and black habit or cross hanging from my neck.

I want for nothing.

I love.

That is all.

comments

2 Responses to “Cookie Cutter Connection”

  1. Alexis on June 25th, 2016

    We are all ‘IT’. Thank you God-girl! xx

  2. Jenny on June 25th, 2016

    Yes we are.i am with Alexis.
    And disability does give us time, fatigue forces us to take time, until it doesn’t seem such a depressing thing but instead something to look for , to find the “upside down gift”. (That insight is not me.)

Leave a Reply