Antidote To The Mess


I am pretty sure I am not alone in trying all kinds of ways to assuage the free fall, nausea producing discombobulation

Produced from having to breathe the stanky air

Of divisiveness

In toxic EVERYTHING; politics, environment, inequality in gender, race, economics….

The list goes on…and on.

Literally, my soul feels in danger.

So what can we do? How to pull away from the hypnotic spin splattering us with blood

Yet we continue to pull up armchairs to watch the show?

Everything is here to teach us.

I’ll tell you a very personal story.

A few years ago I visited a doctor with the scary complaint that I had lost control of my bowels twice.

Bowel and bladder function are extremely common symptoms of MS.

Her immediate reaction was to contort her face in horror and say: “Well, that would be a line I wouldn’t want to live beyond. We can talk about that if you’d like.”

I left in shock.

WAS this intolerable to the point of looking into ending it all as she was suggesting?

Well, NO- goddammit!

I shit my pants. Fact. Got in the shower, washed my clothes. Cried a lot. And then some more at the horror of not being in control.

Then…this is the good part:

Something like this happens and you think it is YOUR LINE YOU ARE QUITE SURE YOU CAN’T LIVE BEYOND.

I have reached what I thought was my line several times

But they never turn out to be my line!

And each time I go through this I come back into the world softer, more humble, innocent, with the sheen of resilience.

More room to love. More courage to be. To be really real. After shitting your panties the way is pretty much guaranteed to be great whatever.

My point is that when everything looks and feels so irreparably dire

We are given the chance, PRIVILEGE to re-up into life

More and better than we ever thought we could be,

Dark before the Dawn…don’t forget.


5 Responses to “Antidote To The Mess”

  1. Joe on July 21st, 2016

    A kick in the ass just means you are still out in front. Amen!

  2. Pam on July 21st, 2016

    Ditto Joe

  3. Barbara on July 21st, 2016

    Thanks, Cath. I’ve been struggling a bit this week, and you’ve put a smile on my face and heart.

  4. Alexandra on July 22nd, 2016

    Yes, we are on the same page! XxxA

  5. Barry on July 23rd, 2016

    I re-up daily, and shitty the pants stories always make me laugh!

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