Great Wealth

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Some of you remember me speaking of how the Native Americans I have come in close contact with seem to drop their leaden wall around me.

Arriving here in Santa Fe some 28 years ago I was unprepared for the sleeping giant in me called: “LET’S MAKE UP ROMANTIC STORIES ABOUT THE INDIANS! SECRETS! I WANT THEM!”

They were right to shun me-the anglo newbie… too curious, too naively innocent, holding too many fantasy entitlement dreams of getting access to gold that wasn’t mine.

Getting energetically shut down after performing my natural attempts to connect felt/still feels bad.

But those feelings started me down the road of recognizing my lifelong attempts to go outside myself to acquire all the stuff I felt I was missing; appreciation, love, money, safety, recognition of worth, purpose, evidence of God, a soul mate….

I don’t do that so much anymore.

Interestingly, I feel richer today than ever before in my life.

Why?

I live on a very strict budget which allows few luxuries.

Sitting down in a wheelchair all day sucks.

My physical self diminishes daily.

My world may seem very thin.

And yet..

And yet, not needing to use up all that energy looking outside myself for answers

And all the emptiness and disappointments we each try hard to assuage with beloved numbing agents

Leaves me with a soothing inner light waiting to be used as Source

When I remember.

The peace of this knowledge and experience is my treasure.

Funny…All I want to do is give it away.

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3 Responses to “Great Wealth”

  1. Nymphe on July 30th, 2016

    And Cathy, you do give it away…every time I am with you. I am annointed with
    your very being!

  2. Barbara on July 30th, 2016

    Thank you for the give-away. Here’s to remembering.

  3. Alexandra on August 1st, 2016

    Beautiful! Thank you, Cathy.

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