“BLACK MESA” 3×6′,m/m


The green park I take Emma to each day is an oasis in my town;

Big grandfather elm trees grow amidst luscious and well tended lawn.

All dogs are supposed to be on leash and recently I reminded a woman of this park rule.

“Excuse me..this is such a great park for us dog lovers, isn’t it? It really is an on-leash park, though..” I say.

“No.. You just have to know your dog really well. Don’t worry so much.” the lady walks off in a steely huff.

Today, I see her and she says: “Are you in a better mood?”

“It’s not about my mood. It is very scary to have dogs I am unfamiliar with charge us. I don’t know your dogs and you don’t know mine. It just feels very stressful and unsafe to me.”

Again..”You must know if your dog is mean then keep him on the leash..otherwise it is fine. Seems like you don’t know your dog to me…”

OK.. my hackles are up and I am trying to keep my center and see this is going nowhere fast

So I say: “I can’t have this conversation with you” and turn to roll away.

Yelling now: “NO WONDER YOU ARE CRIPPLED!!! You don’t understand how things work around here. I hope I never see you again.”

Well…this altercation was so stupid but somehow some of it got to me as I rolled away. I felt the full force of her vitriol blast me. Even if I was well aware it wasn’t all about me my tears arrived just the same.

The whole thing made me think of how we as a culture treat the highest of gifts we enjoy- FREEDOM.

Quite a number of us feel quite entitled to have what we want, when we want it and if this protracted view of freedom is challenged? is all I can say, my brothers and sisters.

Sometimes life is just too friggin’ nasty and access to empathy is cut off.

Here I am in a wheelchair telling this woman it scares me when her dogs charge us.

She seemed incapable of relating to my experience..only her own.

“WE” is so much further down the evolutionary road than “ME”.


7 Responses to “Vulnerability”

  1. Alexis McNaughton on September 2nd, 2016

    Oh my sweet Jesus. Get a grip people! I am horrified that you had to go through that Cathy.


  2. Karren Sahler on September 2nd, 2016

    I try to say, “Bless and release”, but I’m having a hard time with this one. You’re spot on, as usual. I fear We the People is long gone, if it ever existed at all. I can’t help wishing I knew who this woman is, though, so I could leave a little something for her on her porch….

    That’s an awful thought, so I guess I’ll just say thank you for always seeing life’s lessons and sharing them with us.
    Namaste, dear Cathy.

  3. Adele on September 2nd, 2016

    Lessons are fucking hard right now
    when love is the only answer
    always so much more to let go of
    You are my hero

  4. Adele on September 2nd, 2016

    I am so truly sorry that happened to you
    Sending so much love and light

  5. Dennis Chamberlain on September 2nd, 2016

    My goodness – this is a story for the Santa Fe newspaper. People who have this viscous kind of reaction to any rules or authority are to be pitied because they are destined to a life of conflict and hatred. This woman was truly one in a million in terms of bitterness. I am sorry that you had to encounter such a pathetically small person. You are a stronger person than I in terms of being able to shrug this off and move forward. I’d be dwelling on it for weeks, fantasizing about what I was going to say or do to her on the next encounter. As so aptly said by Adele above, you are my hero.

  6. barbara on September 3rd, 2016

    I could not have said it any better than Dennis…

    I love the way you think/look at life .

    Some times we meet people and like and feel some sort of connection right a way,
    and that is how I felt the first time I saw you in Santa Fe.

    You truly are s gifted writer and a lovely person.


  7. Bryan Adams on September 4th, 2016

    Though it’s not always easy to do in situations like this, I try to remind myself that it is the mind of an angry child, in an adult’s body, that I’m dealing with. This can help me muster the compassion that is needed to move beyond the natural reaction of anger that is generated by this kind of abusive behavior. As always, thank you for sharing your experiences, insights, and love.

    Peace and Love

Leave a Reply