This Is The Body

my hands, photo by Gay Block

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This is the body I find myself in.

Magazines say crepey skin is the beginning of the end and we, of the female persuasion should stop doing whatever it is we are doing and go get something-or-other to alleviate this disastrous calamity so as not to visit it on our neighbors.

Also- poor elasticity in the facial skin is a byproduct of living that needs to be hidden.

I haven’t had a manicure in years and god forbid I ever have to visit a hospital for any foot disease where someone is up close and person with my precious darlings called feet.

Come to think of it…I only used to worry about clean underwear for a hospital visit but the list these days is far too long for my feeble mind to actually pull up.

Is it wrong to love myself so much?

Just “as is” ….?

Clothes are always discounted with the “as is” written on the tag.

Flawed.  Holes.  Imperfect.

Sometimes I think it is weird I don’t use every atom of energy I have to try to walk again.

It is a big fuckin’ loss not to walk.  Or drive.  Or get up off the floor.

If I spent my life longing my heart would constantly be moldy from sopping wet tears of glass-half-empty.

Yesterday, I took myself out for dinner.

I made up my face, smoothed Chanel #5 on my neck and grabbed Emma and we had a fine glass of wine with an only fair pizza.

My own company was very good and periodically I told Emma how beautiful she is and what a good dog.

Not once did I dally in the crepey skin worry.

One of the perks of wheelchair use is that there is no chance of any wobble post wine consumption

And as I rolled by other diners on my way out a table of four stopped me:  “We’d like to buy you a glass of wine if you’d let us”  a man said.

“Oh how lovely” I say.  “I just finished a wonderful dinner and am on my way home but thank you so very much.”

“We have been chatting about how lovely you look and how happy eating dinner with your dog.”

I knew the underlying communication was the wheelchair + the alone part.

I have a great life because I say so.

The hard part is ensuring I expend energy only on those things that add to my life force but I don’t wait until I can get a manicure or have the anti-crepe cream to get out there.

comments

5 Responses to “This Is The Body”

  1. Carrie Eckhold on June 19th, 2017

    Your beautiful hands. Create so much beautiful art and now express love.
    Warmth and love for Emma. Your beautiful hands.
    Crepey skin, we all have it from a life well lived. Never heard we are supposed
    to hide. Seems like a reason to enjoy a dinner out.
    You do what some of us wish we had the courage to do
    With love from a fan, Carrie

  2. Irene on June 19th, 2017

    My grandmother, great aunt, plus their neighbor ladies and friends–what do I remember? Age spots, chicken skin arms, gray hair, moles and freckles, orthopedic-looking shoes…I remember all of these lovingly…:)

  3. Karen on June 20th, 2017

    once again, perfect, how do you know?

  4. Dennis Chamberlain on June 23rd, 2017

    This is such an articulate and bold “slice of life” story. Thanks for sharing, Cathy. And thanks to Gay for a very moving photograph.

  5. Barry on June 26th, 2017

    I LOVE hands!

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