Dude..I Been Through Some Shit


Last night I got so friggin’ sick of myself that I had to raise my frequency right quick.

I went directly for the sassiest red lipstick I have and applied with a brush (this method takes more time and signifies some adventure of note is about to take place.)

Keep in mind my Michigander roots embrace anything that feels like “weather” with a weird kind of anticipatory glee..

It was really cold last night but a sparkly, deep and dry cold with no wind.

I bundled Emma and myself up so we looked incredibly well put together in our winter wear, locked the door behind us and headed out.

I love how I can entertain myself out of depression by creating an event.

We headed downtown in search of Christmas lights; my red safety flashers creating a pink pool of light behind my wheelchair.

It was late-ish and little was open so we headed to a favorite hotel bar I knew to be cozy with a real fire and decorated lavishly for the season. A single woman never feels weird in a hotel bar and often Emma provides an easy conversational entry should I be inclined. Last night was just for us though.

Emma and I sat there quietly for over an hour soothed by the fire and a lovely glass of red wine.

It is too laborious for me to remove all my outerwear when in a restaurant and I am pretty heat tolerant so I sat there still bundled, sinking into thoughts of my rich life.

My sister tells me she is amazed by my resilience.

I am too truth be told.

Suffering can be an end-point or an impetus.

Some people make a religion out of it.

Granted, hardship is a way to connect; we all experience it to varying degrees. There will always be someone in agreement with how hard life is.

What we do with our suffering determines our state of being and quality of life.

If suffering is a constant companion there exists the danger of becoming too familiar with that frequency and settling in for the ride.

In the distant past when I attended support groups I found attendees comfortable in the habit of suffering.

I am fortunate to love my own company and be more interested in creating my own entertainment when need be.

Shifting my frequency ever higher on the spectrum is a skill I practice as my best medicine. I began learning about this in practical ways from this book:
Power vs. Force by David Hawkins.

In Dr. Hawkin’s work the example I gave above had me moving from the stasis of APATHY up the frequency ladder to COURAGE as I took action.

Here is a good beginning entry into his work.


9 Responses to “Dude..I Been Through Some Shit”

  1. Becky Patterson on December 13th, 2018

    Wow. Yes yes. Some make a habit
    Out of suffering. Felt
    That one ( typing on this pinche phone make capital letters too often and I’m not going to correct this). I’ve gotten used to
    Piling in bed with 4-5 cats banked in around me and not go
    Out. To see people or “enjoy” anything alone. Your outings depends on the weather being tolerable. Putting RED lipstick on with a brush. Thank you for the idea to love myself and fix myself up. I’m getting in the habit of running out into
    Public just as I’ve crawled out of bed and put same clothes on. Thank you reminding
    Me to celebrate myself. Alone. In a hotel bar. And Santa Fes probably beautiful with lights. Just might go to San Antinio and do that. A bar. Alone. And leave not feeling sorry for myself. Kick butt beautiful friend and Em. Love you. Becky. The
    One you met in an Italuan Resturant sitting close to you

  2. Jane on December 13th, 2018

    Dude … You’re a Force!

  3. ellen fox on December 13th, 2018

    Dear Cathy,

    I LOVE this. I don’t know if you are an introvert but I suspect so as we introverts are so good at self-entertainment. Also it’s awesome how you got yourself out of a mood. I’d love to show this to a few clients. And of course you are such a good writer. I was right there with you in the bar. Also, I have been told about David Hawkins but I just couldn’t look into one more thing. I’m curious about how one raises one’s vibration. Makes a lot of sense to me.
    Happy Holidays. You go girl!

  4. Becky Patterson on December 14th, 2018

    Btw I always love the intriguing art you add

  5. Johan on December 14th, 2018

    Happy Holidays Living. May you and yours be warm and loved which I’m sure you will be. From one michigander to another.


  6. Alexandra Eldridge on December 14th, 2018

    As I go to visit a dying friend for the last time I am inspired by the shifting to higher frequencies. Thank you for your constant inspiration. Love, A

  7. Debra Moody on December 15th, 2018

    So beautifully expressed; so timely and pertinent. Boy-o-boy, I sure needed this. Thank you for allowing us to look into the window of your soul, sister. XOXO

  8. Jann Tenenbaum on December 15th, 2018

    “Suffering can be an end-point or an impetus.”
    I could hear my voice react out loud when I read this line. it is brilliant. I don’t know how/why anything else needs to be said.
    So nice to imagine which bar you were in with your fire and your wine. I hope it is the one I am thinking of because I am picturing you sitting like a queen on your throne with loyal servers around you. They all love you at your local haunts. I love you.

  9. Jenny Simpson on December 16th, 2018

    I have read this over and over, and the links to David Hawkins-did not know him before . It is terrific Cathy, the energy lifts mine, . Not in a “kick butt” way but look up , beyond, more nearly ,more clearly , more dearly more hopeful . There is a wonderful energy, urgency to not waste a minute. Too precious to waste.
    Happy Christmas Cathy and Em xxx

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