“Resting Bitch Face” -Carrie Fisher

As a recovering people pleaser I understood immediately what Carrie Fisher, the actress meant by the above phrase.

Here is a little experiment:

Stand in front of a mirror.
Close your eyes for a minute and as you do this let all emotion,tension,holding,defense drain from your face.
Pay particular attention to softening your mouth, jaw and let the tongue drop deep into the hollow between your lower teeth.
Now open your eyes.

Who you see there is your natural self.

Before any thoughts of being perfect or particular for anyone.

Prior to shifting yourself to manipulate a situation by projecting approachable or safe or sexy or competent or smart or cool.

(Talking about something other than authentic and genuine, involuntary exultation)

When I do this my countenance appears kind-of bitchy too.

The curl up of outer lips is gone and my mouth is neutral.

Everything is neutral

And there’s something slightly scary about this

But also profound.

If my face reads neutral, you, who are the observer will make up any story about me that suits you.

You may register me as sick or suffering and kick into “fix her” mode.

Maybe you will wish I looked happier, more well

In order to relax and carry on with your own life instead of worrying.

You might think how great it is I am out adventuring with my dog

Or wonder why you so often see me alone.

If I cruise wearing a visible smile

You might be inspired by my attitude

Or take pleasure in my apparent pleasure.

All of these are stories

Generated by perception.

I am aware of this and understand the huge amount of energy I put in to alleviating others’ suffering by wearing a smile.

I do it for my own enjoyment and well-being and also for my love of aesthetics understanding Emma and I are an entertaining picture.

Connections are far and away more likely to happen if I seem approachable by offering the invitation of a smile and sometimes this is what I am after.

All this to say that my resting bitch face is not really mean..

Just neutral,

Like the blank canvas the artist faces in the studio.

Life as a work of art.

When I can call up the juju

This is my entertainment.

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One Response to ““Resting Bitch Face” -Carrie Fisher”

  1. Pamela Platt on March 18th, 2019

    Great writing, Cathy!

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